Mail me!

Hello you guys.

I am kinda thinking about setting up a new blog. Like a brand new one? Fresh sheet?

That I am not kinda drained about and unable to update? One that I will actually WRITE on and post lots of pictures and not naked pictures because I don't want to charge you to see it but I could use the extra money but I am just too nice you know.

AAAANYWAYS. There are people I do not want to navigate to this new blog. SO. If you want the new URL and you are not on my msn list or see me in the daily walkabout so that I can write the URL on your hand in lipgloss (you would think someone who loves to write all the time carries a pen but NO. Only lipgloss which by the way I do not use). I was having a long sentance going on here but my point! Want the new URL? When I set it up? Which I will tell you is gonna be later today but in reality? Maybe longer. Mail me! And seeing as chech is not answering me how to make a link to mail me I will just write out my mail adress. kirsti85@gmail.com .

There we go. Ok? Now let's get mailin!

Happy Birthday to MEEEE

Happy Birthday to US!!

Happy birthday me and ATOM!!!

*drumrolls!*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!!!

Good twin I think this year will be the best one this far for both of us. Let's drink to that. You can drink apple juice! SMIRINOF OVER HERE!

YEY I AM GETTING OLD!

I stole this meme myself

My good friend and colleague Christine from www.whyIhatemyhusband.com whom I have never exchanged a single word with has ordered us all to answer these questions.

And seeing as how I have nothing else to post. Seriously. Braindead. Here's something:

1. If you had to set your own work schedule; 8 hours per day; 5 days per week. Which days and hours would you choose?

11-7 Sunday to Thursday. I am not big on mornings and I am too productive late at night to waste it on work.

2. What Reality Show would you be on and why? (stolen from J. http://ramblingsofamadpiggie.blogspot.com/)

I think I would be good on Big Brother. Mostly because that is the only reality show I can think of right now

3. What is the last book you read?

It was a Norwegian book. Last English one was Janet Evanovich's Twelve something

4. There are many songs that bring us back to a certain memory. What song(s) do you HATE to hear for that very reason?

None. I mostly deal with bad memories and only remember the songs that remind me of the good ones. Ok, done with the deep and meaningful lies, I cannot STAND Uptown girl with Westlife. They should not have done the cover ANYWAYS so it was only appropriate that they should play that song just then.

5. If you could go back in time to be any place in world history, what time would you choose and what country/place?

I would go to rural Norway just as the vikings started finding new land. I think it would be interesting to just be a bystander. Well away from the raping and pillaging.

6. Do you know more than one language? Which one(s).

Well there's Norwegian and English and a little Spanish and not enough German.

7. What is your favorite blog? Please link it. One only.

www.missdoxie.com if she could learn to update it would be even betterer.

8. What is your favorite web site?

No idea. Can I say google? I will say google. Hah!

9. Your house is on fire, the people and pets you love are safe and you can grab one other "thing", what are you taking?

iPod! Laptop! Queen CD's! Digital Camera! I'd end up getting trapped in the burning house scurrying around for my material things that contain all my sentimental values.

10. You have $100 to spend in the next hour. How are you spending it? (Saving it or giving it away not permitted.)

Underwear and shoes! And more underwear!

Please send money, vodka and cake WITH UPDATE :D

I'm in for a rough weekend.

but YEY!

And also. HELLO!!

So late. Coffee is a good thing. Did I spell anything remotely correctly? Why do co look so weird together? Co co co.

Teeeheehee.

Anyways. HI!

Maybe someday when I am sober and not so much chemically imbalanced I will write stuff that is funny. I am happy you guys!

And of course you remember my birthday? With cake? Yes? For me AND my good twin?

I tried to catch passing cars with a lasso tonight. Then I used someone's computer. I am scared of my penguin.

How are you guys, what's left of you, doing?

Please leave a comment.

You guys. I have again bought a new gadget. Yes! This time it has also brought me into the currency century! Yey! So glad to be in the twentyfirst! But I miss my saggy jeans. And them hunky guys in Saved by the Bell! I remember I thought Zack was soooo gudlukkin! And so old! I was like 5 and thought he was the coolest and oldest guy I would ever see. Just so happens I recently saw a rerun and was all hooked up to seeing Zach the hunky mature manly man again. You guys! He was only like 14! I was disgusted! I was waiting for a blonde Bruce Willis to appear in front of my eyes. Anyways.

I have moved on from Saved by the Bell and saggy jeans. (But I will not throw them out. Retro you guys.) Do you not want to know what has kicked me into this century? Oooh I bet! Here you go!!

Wireless phones! I feel so modern! I can walk around and talk! And not one but THREE! A set of three! Of course we only needed one, because it is so portable and wireless and everything. But hey, 3 is better than one, right?!

Also, we will not talk about how I named my phones after the two cats we just adopted from the local shelter and are spoiling rotten. I don't think we will mention how the first thing I added to the phonebook was the local pizza place either. But. We need to talk a little about this answerphone.

Because it came with an answerphone. And although I have had automatic answering services before and voicemail on my cellphone and all that jazz it is just so... amazing to have the actual machine here in the room!! Now I can just press the play button to hear my messages! Which is quite a small revolution because before. Well I did never learn the number to call. So messages was kind of lost on me. When I lived by myself I would occationally look up the number and hesitantly call it only to hear a mecanic voice tell me that I have "twentyFOUR new MESSages." All from Paul threatening to call in the National Guard if I did not return his calls soon.

When me and Paul moved in Paul was responsible for listening to messages because only he knew the number. Then occationally one was for me and then he would shout at me because I needed written instructions to be able to listen to it. It's confusing! He said I press 8 to skip to the next message but in fact the 8 deleted the message. Bah humbug!
So! Now! Real Machine! All I have to do is press play. And skip if I want to skip. No digits to falsely symbolize skipping. The skip is there in his own, true button. Yey! Skipping. And the delete is a big, red cross. I know what I am doing when I delete these babies!

And deleting they need. A lot. Because this answering machine? It only receives bullshit. I mean, it has a display that blink-blinks telling me how many messages I have. And it's so uplifting. Coming home to the blinks-blink. But.. well, see for yourselves. I present:

Full list of everything I have so far heard from my answering machine:

1. Around 100 hours of people breathing. Does the sentence "This is an answering machine. Please leave a message BEEP" mean NOTHING? Why do people not hang up the phone? Why would people stay on the line to breathe into my answering machine? In fact I will call Paul and ask NOW. Because he is perpetrator number ONE. Yes dear, wonder how your mobile phone bill got so high!

2. At least 20 messages with people going "hmm. Hello? Hello? Did you pick it up? Kirsti? Helloooo? Why did it stop ringing? What was that you said about machine? Can you hear me now? Did you hang up on me? Was it something I said?!"

3. Many, MANY more recordings very similar to #2 except it is two people talking together, in depth, about why in the world it would stop ringing after saying "something about machine". Of course they DO NOT HANG UP. What is the matter? Do people not hang up anymore? No matter, I can SKIP now. Or even delete voluntarily.

4. Telemarketers. Leaving messages. What? "Hello this is Tom Johnson from Takadamoneyandrun Inc. Yes. Hi. This is a message for Chri... Kurr.. Kursten. I was wanting to sell you this shitty encyclopedia. If you are interested could you please call back this number? 1-800 SCAMMED. Thank you."

5. Locksmiths. Alot of them. I was locked out of my house. At 2pm on a Tuesday. Really locked out. The lock on the back door wouldn't turn and the chain was on the front door. And also I had just been to Sainsbury and picked up ice cream. Loved it. Anyways. Locksmiths at 2pm on a weekday? Shouldn't be a problem. And I started calling around. Sure. Got through. They asked me what type of door. Wood. Type of lock? Yale. Am I in the house? No, locked out. Need help. Other door? Got the chain on. Need help. And after all that questioning which probably cost me a week's salary they all said "oh yeah, I know exactly what the problem is. Real easy to fix. Yupp. "Good" I said. "Come fix it then". No. No. They were all busy. But they all had numbers for someone else. And they all took my landline number down to call me if anything came free so they could come anyways. Haha. landline. I was LOCKED OUT! This happened about 30 times. The dialed numbers register on my cellphone looks like a war zone. In the end I was so mad and frustrated by some miracle and a twig I managed to get the damned chain of the door. In time to save the ice cream.

But ever since Locksmiths have called me. Some of them up until ONE WEEK, that is SEVEN DAYS later, to ask me if I still need assistance. Oh man. To be a locksmith. I assume that since they get the machine they must think I am still unable to get in?

5. I got 8, eight, messages rambling about Orlando Bloom. From someone who does not much care about him. No. From Norway too. International call. My answering machine can record a maximum of 6 minutes per message. And a maximum of 60 messages. Unfortunately. This friend, on a high of caffeine and no sleep, called me and ranted about Bloom for FORTY MINUTES. And she does not even like the guy.

See it all started (this is the time when you get tea.) when she read the post wherein I mentioned that I once promised the good people at my High School that marrying Bloom was in my future plans. Part of the story I didn't tell you is that some of my friends' parents didn't know that Orlando Bloom was in fact BigShotOfTheTimeAndAlittleBitNowThanksToThatPirateMovie. So, they all, of course, thought that this Bloom here was my little boyfriend. In Norway. That I had missed so much while I was away. So, for the longest time I kept getting nice little emails from Iowa after I had gone back to Norway. "How are you and Orlando?", "Was Orlando glad to see you again?", "Are you and Orlando finding back together after you have gone away?" and my personal favorite "has this here 'Lando guy gave ya a ring yet?". Mistaken identity AND Iowa hick language. I love it!
Anyways it was kind of cute. Parents writing emails to the nice foreign girl who is back in her country now, while their newly-college kids banged their heads in the table with frustration. Yet they never said anything. So anyways that backfired and I will NEVER type ANYTHING assuming that no one will print it ever again.

Lesson learned and now it's the time to look back and laugh. Except I laughed pretty much all the time. From the senior statement introducing me as "That crazy Norwegian" to the last email suggesting that I "never talk about Orlando anymore. Are you sure everything is ok?". Of COURSE I never mention him. That would be going from "lighthearted joke" to "outright lying". Google, Woman! Google! Anyhow. Somehow on msn me and a friend got talking about this. And we were bored. And then somehow Wikipedia got mixed into it and THERE! It stood! That! he has given up on caffeine and sugar!! How does that happen? That can not be healthy! How can he give up the pure essences of LIFE?! That is one good sex life right there. Anyone. Of you! Can you imagine getting out of bed before 10am without the promise of coffee? And me! The biggest sleeper of them all. Caffeine is the reason I get up in the afternoon. Also. No cookies. Hopefully, this is rumors.

Now. With the wildest of your imagination. Imagine me (with a copious amount of food allergies and vegetarian tendencies (all crushed when within 100 feet of a Burger King. Whooper! YEY!)) in a functioning relationship with "This here 'Lando guy"(Insane. Pure insane. In danger of being locked up for being British and not drinking tea.)

We would not eat! There is NOTHING. No meat. No fish. No seafood. No cookies. (I get convolutions just thinking about it). NO COFFEE. No soda. Maybe eggs. No alcohol. No Burger King Whooper meals! We are left with: A selection of vegetables that do not make me break out into hives. (Not attractive!). Also, Water. (Here you go dear. Celery and iced water. Ain't life grand?! Don't fill up now we have steamed carrots for dessert!)

How does this relate to my answering machine? I do not know. But after having rambled on about this on msn before deciding to go to bed I received the next day a 40 minute lecture about all the fun fun trivia and rumors and selective bio on Orlando Bloom. Nicely divided into 8 6 minute recordings. After each she got disconnected and called back up in order to keep talking. Somewhere in the 4th message apparently it fit in nicely to call me a "drama school drop out" and mention that I "never really reached the high notes" and also "sucked at miming"... (You guys, it's all true) I don't know what she was on but I think it was severely far past sugar and caffeine.

Hello, sweet Paul. This is what I listen to while you're at work. You think you get the weirdos on the phone, eh?

Next time she logs on we will talk about the processes of cognitive psychology. That way I can put the machine underneath my pillow and play it in my sleep before exams. And then maybe I don't have to press delete so much.

100 Things About Me You Never Knew (well maybe some of you)

You knew it was coming. Honestly. Every blogger with some kind of respect for themselves has one of these lists. So enjoy!

1. I complain when it's too hot.

2. I have had the same email adress (hotmail) since I was 12.

3. I always claimed wholeheartedly that I hated kids and would never have anything to do with them. Now I am aiming for a job in juvenile correction.

4. I always hated P.E. with a passion. During my last week of secondary school when I had my last P.E. class I made cake for everyone and called it the Nelson Mandela cake.

5. From I was four to I was six years old I wore glasses. I hated them with a passion. Now I have had to start wearing glasses again for lectures for the opposite problem (stupid eyes overcompansating) and I think I look smashing in them.

6. The first boy I kissed looked horrible and I claim no responsibility.

7. The same boy 24 hours later declared himself my boyfriend.

8. He then drove me home (he had nearly litterally dragged me off the bus) and I had him put me of 4 blocks away from my house so he wouldn't see where I live.

9. He got enrolled into the army 4 months later. (In the Norwegian ARMY. Service. Not into war. Basically, the fat ugly kid had to go to bootcamp.) I am still laughing at this.

10. I used to play handball.

11. I was the goal-keeper.

12. I sucked.

13. I have also played soccer and basketball.

14. I am a very good defender in almost any sport. Especially when I am PMS'ing.

15. Now the only sport I perform in is swimming but even that has been given a rest.

16. I am a highly acclaimed stage actress.

17. No, really. They fought for me.

18. I took this to drama school, lost all my motivation, will and self-esteem, having teachers who were only interested in weird, interprative dance and drama crap. I quit after a year.

19. While still studying drama I discovered I was really good in advanced math and Spanish.

20. I transferred over to studies where I could do mainly math, English and Spanish and regained all lost self esteem.

21. After leaving the drama-freaks I spent a year in the good ol' USA doing... DRAMA and SPEECH. And my mad improv skillz even got me to the state championship. Where I did shit but we don't have to mention that.

22. After it all I still think I am pretty good at acting.

23. While in USA all the seniors, including me, had to fill in a "get to know the class of 2003" questionaire with all kinds of facts about ourselves. I knew that being a foreign exchange student they would not print mine and filled it out with all kinds of jokes and bullshit.

24. They printed it.

25. I was introduced as "That crazy Norwegian".

26. Amongst the things I had written was that my favourite quote was "It's GRRREAT!!!" and that my future plans were "get rich, win an Oscar and marry Orlando Bloom".

27. Orlando Bloom isn't really in my future plans. He was just the hot guy at the time.

28. ...although...

29. I am VERY much in love with my fiance. Honest.

30. I went to see Troy. After half an hour I had seen Brad Pitt naked and I was STILL bored. I left.

31. I have to turn the sound off the TV when the stupid sentimental scenes with the lame music comes on. I honestly can't watch it. It physically hurts.

32. I have shaken (shook?) hands with all three members of Destiny's Child.

33. I also half way fell in love with their body guard.

34. When I was younger I had a thing for fat, black men. This was not helped by me watching Kenan and Kel every day.

35. When I am really depressed I can always comfort myself by shoving my mouth ful of hot, salt popcorn and washing it down with Sprite. Popcorn has anti-depressants, I am sure of it.

36. On some weird, higher psychological level I have managed to teach myself that cheese and diet pepsi relieves stress headaches. For me that works better than painkillers. To be taken together while lying down.

37. I am as attached to my cat Whisky as other people would to a best friend or a sister.

38. I am addicted to solitaire on the computer. All kinds.

39. ...also minesweeper.

40. After playing all the Silent Hill games I have a weird, icky feeling every time I hear sirens. Or something that sounds like those weird sirens. Freaky games.

41. I grew addicted to the Rachet and Clank games and have finished all of them. And will most likely do it again.

42. I have never seen one James Bond film my entire life.

43. ...and only one of the Star Wars.

44. Neither of the Godfather triology.

45. My first born daughter will be called Nora. No matter what. Even if she looks like an Isabella or an Olga. It will be Nora.

46. I am always excided to see if there is any post but I never get anything but bills.

47. I have suffered from insomnia for as long as I can remember.

48. It's only getting worse.

49. I am named after two of my great grandmothers, both named Christina.

50. My last name is impossible to remember for anyone who is not me or related to me.

51. I will never, ever let my sister forget that she was a fanatic New Kids On The Block fan in her teens.

52. I know all the NKOTB songs off by heart. Because I might have stolen all my sister's albums and listened to them over and over when I was in MY teens, 9 years after her.

53. My favourite NKOTB song is "Didn't I (blow your mind)".

54. My favourite band now is Queen.

55. I know for a sheer fact if I ever met Brian May I would lose my mind and have to be admitted. I am a fan big time.

56. I always want to change my hair color. When it's blonde I want it darker than the night. When it's colored I want it back to the normal color.

57. My natural color is very, very blonde.

58. 58 is my favourite number. It kind of follows me everywhere.

59. I love playing card and board games. Especially trivia games.

60. I am really wanting to go to San Fransisco.

61. I wish I was better at keeping in touch with old friends.

62. I have a myspace profile.

63. I never told anyone about it.

64. I won't tell you either.

65. I won't function properly unless I have at least 1 hot meal per day.

66. I am notorious for sleeping in untill extreme times. I concider it my priveliege.

67. I havent drunk in so long, two days ago just one bottle of 15 proof champagne gave me a migrane. Oh the shame.

68. I am not scared of any insects or spiders.

69. I am terrfied of snakes, even fake ones and the ones on TV.

70. I think the Rolling Stones are the best thing that ever happened to rock'n roll.

71. I can't stand Woody Allen films.

72. I can live off a diet consisting of only assorted pasta dished. And I pretty much do. I have had the same favourite meal since I was just about born: Spaghetti Bolognese.

73. I LOVE the smell of freshly ground coffee. Second best: A newly opened bag of coffee. When I open a new one I always carry it around the house for everyone to smell.

74. Whenever I am at a coffee house I always ask for whatever kind of coffee they serve in a glass. Anything tastes much better from a glass than from a cup.

75. I think coca cola from glass bottles is ten times better than from cans or plastic bottles.

76. Like my mother, I like or dislike beer very much depending on the glass it is served in. Pint glasses are ok. Them huge American pub-mugs are not. Then I have to ask for a red-wine glass and pour it over.

77. I have alot of little quirks.

78. Iced tea makes me extremely hyper.

79. I can't eat before 2 hours after I woke up. If I do it only comes back up. Even so I am more awake and alert than most people are in the mornings. Also: Annoyingly happy.

80. I can't drink milk, it makes me violently ill. However, most other dairy products or products with milk in it is ok.

81. I hate beans, but I love the tomato sauce they come with. I get alot of odd looks of waiters when I order chips and beans and leave behind all the beans chemically cleaned of all sauce.

82. I used to own and moderate a lesbian chat channel on the internet.

83. This made my mother convinced I was a lesbian and gave me a long talk about how it is "ok to be different"

84. I always mix up British money with American and think the 10p coin is a quarter.

85. I used to collect quarters with states on them. But now no one is willing to send me quaters anymore. I guess with the American economy right now I shouldnt expect it.

86. I still concider it one of my best achievements to manage to get my driver's license.

87. I haven't touched the steering wheel of a car since I passed the test.

88. I concider some of my online friends just as good friends as my "real life" ones. Some of the online ones are proving way more lojal anyways.

89. I used to date a Texan. I find this funny.

90. I really miss easy-mac from the states. Could SOMEONE please send me some? I remember it was REALLY tasty!

91. I must be the only person in Britain to take no milk and only one half sugar in my tea.

92. I continously mix up the words garbage and garlic.

93. Some people I have lost contact with I really, really miss.

94. I would love to write my own column once, in just a small town newspaper.

95. When the winter olympics is on I sit up the entire night to watch the curling. All the matches. Between every single country.

96. I actually understand the rules of curling.

97. I have no idea about the rules of American football.

98. I have no interest of ever trying to learn them. I made my choise.

99. I really suprised myself when I realised that I really love the study I chose and I think I made the right choise. I normally wobble around abit before I settle.

100. I will not spellcheck this list before I post it. Nor re-read it. So shh.

Ok Now I am back! I promise! With no P!

..and this time it's like.. for real. Yey!

News!

1. Paul has bought a new computer. Well.. new like a rusty, old, used, pick up-truck that you bought from Honest Al's Spankin Carz is NEW. You know. RELATIVELY new. A RELATIVELY new computer which happened to not work properly. At all. And then he took it back to Honest Al and asked to get it fixed so it could at least function like a RELATIVELY new computer should. Which Honest Al agreed to. Because Honest Al is a nice guy. Really. Who just sometimes sells computers who do not work. Anyways, so much has been fixed on this damn computer that the only thing that has not been changed is the shell. And the shell was the NEW part on the relatively NEW computer. So now! NEW COMPUTER!! With one minor fault. The P key? That you press to get the letter P? Like in Paul and comPuter and Post..? It does not so much work. No. Not at all. Until you PPPPPPPPPPress it with ALL YOUR MIGHT. And then? Then you get fifty Ps. which is just wasting hard-to-get letters. Because Honest Al can change an ENTIRE hard drive but a new keyboard is just too much.

2. We had the pleasure of needing a doctor in the middle of the night on a Friday night. Not serious enough to be an emergency but too bad to wait a week to get an appointment with the doctor. At 2am on the weekend... do you know who you can call? Do you know who is just DYING to help you with the "I THINK it might be serious but it might also not be and anyways it is very painful please help me" medical problem you suffer from on a weekend night? You know? Who? NO ONE! No one does. No. It is in the lap of the gods. Entirely. In the end we got a sleepy doctor on the line (we only waited 3 hours for the call-back) who could tell us that he "couldn't look at it over the phone". Thank you for that, doc. Would you like us to fax over a picture? Or maybe we can get an emergency appointment. Thank you.

3. Exam time. And hayfever time. Crashing. Oh joy. Strong enough allergy meds = very sleepy, non-focused Kirsti. Any tips?

4. This new guy? Left a comment on the last post? His screenname started with a d. And I emailed him but he didn't email be back. (*cough*bastardasshole*cough*) So then I checked his blog so that I could gratefully NOT comment him back... and he does... wait for it... HOME BREWING! So everyone, we have a new friend!!! Please warmly welcome d-something... anyone who might still read this. Doesn't matter. D-man is my bestest friend!

5. Some of my professors need to get out more often. Seriously. Geeks. NO ONE should know that much about the human brain. NO ONE!! It is too complex for us to fully understand so we should just LEAVE it and hope it works out alright. And certainly not try to shove the UNPHANTOMABLE amount of Latin names and terminology onto innocent students such as me. Because my brain? COMLETELY overload. And I can't even remember the term for it.

6. I hate biological psychology. I know it's RELEVANT. And IMORTANT for a complete understanding of human behavior which I happen to have chosen as my field of study but OH MY GOD! So many words! I did not sign up for this. And I am trying to think of one SINGLE term that I can use in a single sentence to make a joke. Like "all the information makes my Hyphotermamal Glutonous shrink to the size of a Nalandghtuis Hazelious" so that it would seem like I have at least learned something but NO! NOTHING! I JUST MADE THAT UP! I should have listened to my senses and became a carpenter.

7. Me and my better half have ordered a trip to Tunisia. YEY! We get to be tourists for an entire two weeks. And Paul is all excited because the hotel has a complimentary horse carriage to the beach and maybe sometime before we leave I will remind him that I am hyper allergic to horses so we are going to have to just walk to the beach like normal, lower class people do. But why burst his bubble now. YEY HORSE CARRIAGE! And also there is a pool and breakfast buffet. And a hair dryer in every room. Luxury! We are however not leaving until March 2007, so I have almost a year to think of a valid extenuating circumstance that I could tell the university to explain why I will be gone for two weeks. In the middle of term. And come back with a fabulous tan. Maybe my sister will get married. Again. In Africa. Maybe so. Shhh!
Anyways it is not until March so maybe I will post at least once before we leave. If there is time.

8. Congratulations Atom! YEY! That is the kind of things that good twins deserve! What are we wanting for our birthdays?

9. Me and Paul are very happy and healthy (thank you midnight-sleepy-phone-doctor!) together and the house needs a new bath which we are getting which won't match at all to the rest of the bathroom but I am not paying so I sure don't care. If anyone wants to see pictures from the house or our recent trip to Norway then I can email you a welcome to our brand spanking new snapfish account.

10. OH! And also we just had our 6-month-of-engagement-without-killing-each-other-just-almost-sometimes-anniversary! Send presents! Vodka. And Rum. And Home Brew!! And a keyboard with a stinking P!